That’s why I’m here...

Most of the times, we have this feeling of we want to belong in a group of people with at least have the same interest or share the same passion we have. That we want to see and feel people intended to be part of our whole being, of our whole system, of our whole “me”. In short, we wanted to feel the belongingness. And it could be destiny why you are in a group, a community or in a deeper sense… family.

I joined SFC because there’s something deeper that I want to do… to change.

I always look back on the days when I was in college. Majority of my life were wasted on non-sense stuffs. Too much of the darker side of life. Too much of desperation to be cool and to be in. Too much of aspiration that you have to experience the bad side as well to make you say “been there, done that” without fully realizing that the statement is only applicable for an event in one’s life where things are so uncertain and the future is so unpredictable. Life’s darkness sometimes came to a decision where you have only two options and you opted not to stay on the light.

Sometimes, we’re searching for answers to give us a head start on how to begin a particular thing that, in our minds, could be very easy but in reality, can take us to finish the whole course of our lives here in material world. We’re too busy sometimes looking for answers from afar, where most of the times; answers are all right under our very nose. To change… for me, it didn’t come like a birthday present, ready to be opened. It came from a deep realization. It all started from a profound comprehension and understanding… it’s time for the prodigal son to come back. And the keys when I restarted… family and friends.

There were a lot of ups and downs when I was in the community. The worst case, I even planned to relieve myself from it, not once but many times. I even questioned my faith and started thinking that I don’t deserve to be in the family. Self-guilt led me to that mentality, as if when you are in the community, you are not suppose to be showing any signs of faults or flaws.

So, why is it that I’m still in the community?

I strongly believe that nobody’s perfect, that everybody commits mistakes and change doesn’t seem to be an overnight or instant process. I joined SFC carrying my deep intention, aside from the shallow reasons that because my friends are also members and they asked me to join. I almost forgot to hold on to it, that I promised with conviction. And nowadays, this conviction is being tested repetitively.

And what will make me continuously love the community?

If I still see people who do not expect their brethrens to be flawless because nobody is. If I still see people who believe in their brethren’s deeper purpose and desire to improve as a person and as a living disciple of God. If I do still see some brethrens who accepts their brethrens, no matter how many times they stumble and fall. If I still see people who will give me reasons to still believe to others. And if I still see hope in me in spite of the unenthusiastic forces surrounding me and hindering service life and that hope was left if no one is able to continue for Him. Then there are no grounds why I should stop my serves to the community.

I’m here because I just don’t want to belong; I’m here to change – for God and not for others…

God bless everyone!